"A wise child is talked to in proverbs" is another Fante maxim that is widely observed, for the proverb is commonly used to admonish the child who misbehaves as well as to praise the obedient one. Many of the proverbs dealing with the respect due to elders, obligations to kinsmen, or the proper attitude toward chiefs are used to indoctrinate children in regard to the acceptable standard of social behavior. The following are proverbs that are oriented primarily toward the rearing of children:
"The monkey jumps to where it can swing." (The child who should not "Bite off more than he can chew," or "Look before you leap.")
"The male cat is not one man's pet." (Told to a child who complains that too many adults are sending him on errands or requesting his services.)
If you follow a bad dog you come across a dead rat."
"The child who provokes his mother and father eats food without salt."
If the foreleg is larger than the thigh then there is an illness." (A child should not consider himself superior to his parents.)
"When a child behaves as an adult, be sees what an adult sees." (He is punished as an adult.)
Proverbs also outline the correct procedure for parents in regard to child rearing, like "Spare the rod and spoil the child" in our own culture. Examples are:
"If one is unable to eat one's palmnuts they become fall of worms." (If a parent cannot control his children, they become spoiled.)
"The hen's feet do not kill her chicks."
"When a child cries, he is not imprisoned," (Actually, he is not "bound to a log," the pre-contact technique of restraining prisoners.)
"One does not send a child on an errand, then look to see whether or not be is pleased."
"Human beings who are found useless are not classified as beasts." (Children are not to be treated as animals.)
"One has not been an elder before but one has been a child." (Adult behavior should not be expected of children.)
"It is the child who is sent for water that breaks the pot." (Children learn by doing.)
"If you, an elder, say, and do not do, you will not be feared by the young."
While it is considered permissible and appropriate for an adult to correct any child he sees misbehaving, spanking or whipping should be undertaken only by the parents or a close relative. The duty of spanking usually falls to the father, Fante mothers being somewhat indulgent.
Generally speaking, the women do not favor any form of corporal punishment for children. The father threatening such action is likely to be told by his wife that "The stick that is use to hit the sheep is not used to hit the fowl" (adult punishment is not administered to a child). That spanking is the prerogative of the parents is illustrated by the proverb, "Unless a boy's parents are present, you cannot wash his yaws."
The Fante also cited the latter proverb to indicate certain limitations placed on the avunculate. Unlike some of the other Akan, where a man has complete control. Over his sister's children, the Fante father retains authority over his children until their marriage, when they pass to the control of their clan elders.